Goat Club 2009 at The Vale  Excerpts from the Book Of The Goat

    ....And  the People of the Goat did wander in the wilderness for generations ...actually it was only about a year or so  but it seemed longer at the time..(pretty much like the Star Trek film.)...and there was much tightening of belts ....and the people did cry out in their misery .. things like" Lord ,why are the children hungry "....( they already knew why but hunger tends to make you forget things...and besides there weren't any children in the first place......)......and" why does the phone never ring?"....( the phone had to be cut off  because there were no wages paid...).....and the aged Goat Lord  did cry out " why am I cursed with an ever increasing list of ailments most of which are identical with the symptoms of early menopause ..."   ( it turned out to be Type 2 Diabetes and THAT was a fucking relief  let me tell YOU!!! )

....anyway.......time passed....

And the world turned...and a hungry little boy with a runny nose ran through the streets wearing panty hose for a bet-oh....and Osama died  ( ah but DID he?!!!)....and the former Temple of the Goat lay empty and silent..............for the P.A. system had passed away ( along with  the  Marshall stacks and the dinosaurs..)....and there was silence ( some say blessed silence ) in the Vale ..until the voice of  OBO ( The Occasionally Bearded One) was heard across the land, saying "Get some f***ing gigs happening upstairs you worthless crew of half human muck swallowers"...and there was much confusion and trepidation among the younger minions, and weeping and gnashing of dentures among the older, and there was no hope in sight...until the Mighty Craig ( he who is known among the sons of men as the Mighty Fist Of OBO ) raised his Mighty Voice and said" Shut your slime crusted cakeholes and get the Goat Lord back in here before I put my Mighty Boot up your well used backsides!"

...and Lo!..... it was so....

But in the long months before the call came the Children of the Goat were blown hither and yon like unto shreds of used toilet paper on a curry scented wind.....and peripatetic were their wanderings...till finally the Dark Shepherd , He who is known as The Beast, or the Howling One...(or more usually Graham...) didst take or lead the Goat Lord to the top of  a reasonably high hill and didst there shew or display to him the glittering Cities of Men, and capering and grimacing in a disturbing manner the while didst say unto him.."all this I will give to thee (providing of course that the Housing Department will pay the rent ) for in my Faither's Hoose there are many Mansons, and the greatest of these is Charlie ( Shirley is more attractive but her lyrics aren't as innaresting...).....and the Goat Lord did rend his garments,and weep,and CrosbyStills his remaining teeth, crying over and over again..."I used to live in the fucking West End! I used to live in the fucking West End!...and the Beast did laugh at his discomfiture, and held out the Contract Of Servitude saying in the voice of a woman.."sign here!sign here!"......and the Goat Lord bowed his head...and reached for the pen..........

Next Month : WELCOME TO SPRINGBURN!!!